I was brought up to keep trying, even when you fail. My dyslexia made learning very challenging, but I was told to keep trying. My parents, teachers, tutors, and every other person trying to help me told me not to give up. At the height of my difficulties, 8th grade, I had been going to special classes and learning labs for years with no real improvement. Little did I know that within two years, the extensive extra help would just kick in. Why? I learned to try hard doing everything and it stopped being hard. I had finally realized that I was the reason I failed, so I stopped being the reason, and just focused on doing work.
I was very talented at tennis at a very early age. However, I found that by the age of 12, the other kids had caught up in both size and speed, and I stopped winning. These other kids were learning to be good at tennis through practice and repetition. I never learned that lesson, so I was stuck. I never got better until I realized that I was the reason I wasn’t getting better. That realization took two decades. In my 30’s, I learned that physical fitness was as essential as playing sets. I finally got into good shape, but it took until I was in my 40’s to control my weight. With all the elements finally in place, I went back to work on my tennis game. Now I practice more and play less. I got very good and still play at the highest level of my life, even after 50.
I believe things have changed. Now my ability to stick with something has turned into a point of contention with Millennials. I’m considered pushy and someone who can’t let it go! When did this change happen? Never have I been told in my life to try until it gets hard and then give up! I thought the saying went, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!” I am astounded that so many people cut and run at the first sign of difficulty. I meet more Millennials that have kids outside of marriage than actual married couples. And the common nature of fathers not living with their families just baffles me. Where has honor and respect gone? It seems that the convenient lie has taken the place of the plain truth.
I was called a petulant child by a girl who has a child outside of marriage and lives off her mother in her house. She has no steady income source but made insulting comments about the financial troubles my family is facing. She sees me as a creepy old man who can’t handle his money. Little does she know that I have performed miracles to stay in our home, survived the tragedy of a major flood, and still launched a business with three unique game designs on basically no money. My business is far better organized and run than most businesses I know of. I haven’t made a great deal of money, but all of my products are first class and I did that with next to no money. That’s a win, not something to criticize. And I did that all after the age of 45.
It is clear that the emotional change must occur before real improvements can be made in life. Only through a process of reflection and truth can you evaluate what you have done. The real change occurs only when we are ready to do the work and not have expectations for improvement. I call it the movie training sequence - that time when you unburden yourself with doubt and focus on the work. The change only occurs when you are ready for it: no teacher, parent, or coach can force it. The change is the most powerful thing in our lives and powers our journey through time and space.
The change is the end of the innocence, the end of the time of sheer play and exploration. The change takes from you every reason to quit and every excuse you have used. The change steals from you that space you used to hide in, now puts everything out in the open. The truth, the essence, the most important question… Are you ready to work without excuses and hesitation? Then you are ready for the change! With it, life becomes meaningful and peaceful. Namaste and Excelsior!