To Boldly Get Stoned Where No Stoner Has Stoned Before


I like games, that’s no secret.  Ever since my first game of Candyland, I have loved board games.  Like most gamers, your taste in games matures as you get older.  I got into Dungeons and Dragons in high school and turned away from my board gaming roots for the free-form nature of RPGs.  It was Cosmic Wimp-out that brought my attention back to board games.

Over a winter break between college semesters, I hung out with my friends from home.  I told them about this smoking board game that used a bandanna for a game board.  The group “oohed” and “aahed” about the idea of a smoking board game.  Not to be outdone, my friend Jeff told the group about Bong-Trek.  I loved the 60’s Star Trek show and had watched all of them over the years, so I was hooked, and I decided to give it a try the next time I had a chance to watch Star Trek.

The simple idea of the game was to pick a character like Captain Kirk or Spock.  Then, every time they say one of their catch phrases, you took a bong.  If you picked Bones and he made a “I’m a Doctor, not a …” you got a bong.  The fewer the players, the more characters you could have.  The game sounded so simple, but could you get stoned in a one hour show?

On a cold March weekend, I turned on my TV and a station out of Hartford (I was in Southampton) had Star Trek on at 11pm.  I found one other person and we watched and played - we got wasted! Here are the basic rules for the game:

Character                Catch Phrase or Action

1.       Captain Kirk   =    “Beam me up", "Fire Photon Torpedoes", "Fire Main Phasers” or he kisses something/someone.

2.       Mr. Spock     =     “That’s not logical” or he uses the Vulcan Nerve Pinch.

3.       Bones McCoy   =  “I’m a Doctor, not a …”,  he gives a Hypodermic needle or uses that salt shaker thing!

4.       Scotty        =      “Captain, I’m giving her all she’s got!” or he fixes something.

5.       Chekov, Lt. Uhura, and Sulu     =     Says any dialogue or does anything.

6.       Red Shirt        =      Gets killed.


I have to tell you that if you love Star Trek, this game will make you laugh for the length of the show.  If you are not a fan, this is the way you can enjoy the greatest science fiction show ever made.  During the 80’s and part of the 90’s, finding the old episodes on TV was hard.  Bong Trek faded into obscurity.  I guess the idea of Netflix and Bong Trek never reached the main stream stoner culture.  For me, this is the idea that the time has come, return to the days of crappy TV reruns and play “Bong Trek” with your ganja loving friends!

Gary Schwartz