Some Call it Weed


When I was 13, I smoked hash for the first time.  They called it brick hash and we smoked it using a Buzzbee Frisbee.  At 15, I toked weed from a pipe.  At 17, I did bongs hits of pot.  It amuses me the way that the terms for cannabis have varied over the years.  The Marijuana menace from the 1950’s, and the hemp revolution of WWII, all found various names to call our most beloved plant. Ganja, grass, refer, tea, skunk, smoke, wacky tobacco, and much more.  I love you Mary Jane, my favorite green, and my favorite, dope. 

We smoke, toke, hit, draw, inhale/exhale, party, and the old favorite, blow a doobie!  Like ice for Eskimos, we have countless names for consuming the magic bud.  Each name is code for smokers to through off non-smokers and those looking to put a damper on your party.  420, the mythological hangout time for stoners after school.  Time to bake, or let’s blaze one, stoners’ jargon is prolific and oddly specific. 

I know that I want do some hits from my bong, Baron von Hurricane, or smoke a bowl out of my glass Gandalf.  Maybe a burn an O’Malley special and make my joint Curved!  Top it with keef, hash, maybe some honey, or pure THC crystals? The new lingo is trying to keep up with all the new cannabis products, everyday a new edible, dab, concentrate, oil, and it’s quite mind boggling to try to keep up!

So now, am I required to learn all the new dab vocabulary or be unable to talk to a fellow cannabis enthusiast?  Resin? Did you clean your pipe?  Oh, not that type of resin!  What’s that thing you cap the bowl with and the glass rod for scraping the dab and placing it in the heated bowl?  What’s 710?  Give me a break, I just want to get wasted!  It has gotten complicated fast, and I am told that I’m old fashioned because I like flower, I thought I was smoking Cannabis Sativa?

Vapes? Now I have to learn about vapes?  They seem to be too good to be true.  I’m told by my vaping friends that there is a big difference in quality between various types and makers of THC vape cartridges.  I’ve tried hash oil vapes,  THC ones that taste too strong from the added terpenes, and smooth vapes that are mellow and strong.  Most major cannabis magazines tell you to watch out for substandard cartridges and pens.  Many are made with cheap materials or cannabis grown with pesticides and chemicals.

How did getting high get so complicated?  Most of us learned about ganja from listening to Bob Marley, but even the grand sage would be overwhelmed by the explosion of products in the cannabis market.  Sour Diesel, Lemon Kush, Jack Herer, Acapulco Gold, Gorilla Glue, Girl Scout Cookies, and the famous Pineapple Express.  Everywhere I go, they are sell a strain with a funky name and strong terpenes, but do they get you high or just look good?  I like the Chem Dog, so I like the Sour Diesel, and now other diesels are out there - are they good?  One thing is true, they are all much better than the pot from when I was a kid.

Infused products?  It seems they will put THC into anything, and everyone says their stuff is the strongest.  Funny part is that most edibles have little to no effect on me, that is, the ones that local people make and sell.  The strongest pot cookie was made by my friend in the 90’s, and they put someone to sleep right in front of me!  I have taken pure THC capsules for sleep and the 100 mg. dose is made by a friend who is very experienced and they work.  Now they sell infused everything, I wonder if they will be coming up with new name for that too?  I’ll keep learning!