Second Act

At a young age she lost her mother.  Her father was left raising four girls on his own.  As the oldest, only 6, she was required to grow up fast and take care of the other girls.  This traumatic event would shape this person’s life for decades to come.  As a young woman, she pushed herself to get almost perfect grades while being a dutiful daughter.  This effort allowed her to graduate near the top of her class and allowed her to attend a high-quality university.

I met her the summer after she graduated college.  Shana and I fell in love, and eventually got married. In this time, my wife’s star was rising.  She worked on a few off off-Broadway plays while we were dating but decided to look elsewhere for long time employment.  It didn’t take her long to get a job a local university as a financial aid administrator.  Shana found a field that interested her.  Her sharp math mind took to the numbers like a fish to water.  It didn’t take long for Shana to move up!

For the next decade or so, Shana worked at various financial aid jobs, always moving up in pay or title.  In that time, she had two wonderful sons.  Then it happened, my wife got a job at the university that I graduated from.  I felt like she had arrived, and the best part is my children could go to a university we could never afford.  For years, she worked, but the dream job stopped being a dream.  Her body was tired and out of shape, and her mind was strained. 

Then it happened, and of course at the worst possible time.  Her job was eliminated, and she was let go. I had my own problems: my hip had been replaced months earlier and the insurance coverage was needed to finish my rehab.  Several days went by in panic and dread, how would we live?  The family melted down and it felt like the end. Little did I know it was just the end of the first act!

The week after Shana lost her job we had a second summer.  For the months of September, October, and several weeks in November, it was warm.  Something happened to us, we played.  It was like camp with my best friend, and we had fun.  Daily yoga, tennis, and even swimming at a friend’s pool.  We had BBQs and date days; it was like we were dating again.  The greatest change came in Shana’s attitude.  She hunted for a job with passion and diligence, but she stopped taking it personally.  Boy, did it work!  First interviews, so many interviews. Every person who saw her resume needed to get her in for an interview.

Then came the job offers.  The neediest people first.  For the first time in her life, Shana had her choice of many jobs, and this allowed her to find the job she really wanted.  At first, the new job required new things from her, now she took the train instead of driving, and there was a moderate walk to her office. The weather was cold, and other things started bothering her.  Somehow she had slipped into the unhappy employee from her last job.

The change happened without a bang or a splash, it happened with one smile at a time.  Shana started loving her job.  She loved the famous glass building she worked in.  Brooklyn now was a welcome place and she enjoyed walking it’s charming streets.  Exercise became fun and meaningful and her tired body filled with life and energy.  Shana had entered a new phase, with a new attitude and focus. 

Things that Shana does now to be SUCCESSFUL everyday:

1.        8 hours of sleep every night!

2.       Keep a healthy diet.

3.       Set an alarm and get up!  Be ready for success.

4.       Take responsibility for your family and be sure they are ready to succeed every day!

5.       Keep a budget, calendar, and a daily “To Do” list.

6.       Attack your job with passion and energy.

Make the beginning of 2019 the beginning of your Second Act.

The Drunken Office Party Conversation or My Facebook Experience!

News programs are covering the culture on Facebook like interaction between people online is somehow much different than being face-to-face.  I must disagree.  I find the culture on Facebook similar to an office party or social gathering.  I find it funny that in the congressional hearing, Mark Zuckerberg was treated with distrust and animosity.  I find it doubly funny that the Russians were able to take advantage of suckers on the internet that believe everything they read or see.  Maybe the problem is that common practices of social interaction have slipped away and most folk has no idea how to be polite.

Last month a contractor was in my house fixing a leaking pipe.  I was there to help and see if I could facilitate his work.  He appreciated it and I helped out.  Somewhere in the repair, he asked me if my wife still gave me oral sex?  He continued to say that his wife did nothing fun and wondered how it was with me.  Really?  I just met this guy and he’s talking about blow jobs!  He is a contractor in my home and I,  as the customer, deserve to be treated with some level of respect. I was flabbergasted!

I said little for the rest of the day other than saying that his wife didn’t give me oral sex either!  I felt uncomfortable and sarcasm was my only option.  I believe what happens between a man and his wife is private, so does the law.  So why do people feel entitled to cross the line into the realm of troglodyte?  It doesn’t take must extrapolation to see that common manners are fading away and stark Trumpian statements are winning the day.

“I just bought…” I stop listening.  It was a high-class industry party and I was talking with a friend of a friend.  He went on about his financial success and how great things were going for him.  I smiled.  I looked for my wife to get me the hell out of there!  Middle aged men with a pressing need to brag.  My Kryptonite!  I actually felt a great pain in my ass while he was talking.  I complimented him on his success and said that I hoped he could get back into shape, a topic he had discussed.  Moments later as I moved through the dense crowd, I was thinking I hate guys who brag!

As I rate my interaction on a weekly basis, I compliment Instagram for creating a relaxing environment for both business and personal interaction.  I see Facebook like that party, some good conversation, some not-so-good.  I couldn’t imagine taking someone’s word on something that I didn’t know or know of.  It’s like meeting someone at a party and saying, “Oh sure, you’re a stock broker, here’s all my money, no checking needed!”  This is how the Russian trolls exploited regular folk.  They whisper secret knowledge and it’s believed immediately.  When did this become the norm?

Facebookers and many Long Islanders share a sour view of the world where others need to do the work.  I see no real difference in the local people and the trolls on internet: they are poorly educated.  I believe that you need three pieces of quality evidence to truly believe something.  If I told you we could take CO2 out of the atmosphere and use it for fuel, would you believe me immediately?  The fact is, we can and if you google the topic, there are dozens of articles and examples of the technology being used today.

My view is: trust but verify! I find it the biggest compliment when an individual checks to see if what I’m talking about is true.  That is a big compliment to me.  I want to share, learn, experience things with others, but there must be a code of conduct, a place of warm civility.  Discourse is part of the American experience and I welcome a challenge to the validity of what I say.  There is a better way, I’m starting by doing my best!

Thank You, YouTube for all Those Fabulous Places!

The holiday week is here once again.  My favorite memories are of all the old movies shown at this time of the year.  You could count on getting up Christmas morning and find those old classics that make the season special:  Laurel and Hardy’s “March of the Wooden Soldiers” or the one with the kid and the pellet gun, “A Christmas Story.”  My favorite one is the Christmas movie with the Freeze Meiser and Heat Meiser,. “The Year Without a Santa Claus” always made me chuckle. But when all is said, those aren’t really the movies I wanted to see.

On that special rare occasion, they would have a “Drive-In” movie marathon featuring Chinese martial arts movies.  Let’s face it, you never see those on TV or cable anymore.  Thank the heavens for “YouTube.”  I’ve been able to have my Wu Tang Clan fantasy realized and I can watch Kung Fu movies to my heart’s content.  I can’t get enough of those Shaolin monks fighting open-handed or with the incredible variety of weapons and techniques.  Also, the monk’s pious ways and their devotion to Buddha and to the peaceful use of the martial arts.

So, I watch the movies about Shaolin verses Llama, or fighters looking for revenge.  The plots are basic, but the fighting is mostly enjoyable.  There are hundreds of these movies to choose from and every once in a while, I return to a favorite like “The Five Deadly Venoms” or “Master Killer.”  YouTube allows me access to many Chinese movies, the quality varies, but the variety makes up for that.

“The Sword and the Sorcerer” was a favorite movie from my childhood.  My love of D&D and fantasy movies makes YouTube invaluable again.  I’ve seen tons of fantasy movies with Orcs in all shapes and sizes!  From the “Dungeon & Dragons” cartoon to “Thundarr the Barbarian” (Thundarr has recently been pulled from YouTube), the scope of fantasy entertainment is huge.  Fan movies, old TV shows, animation of all kinds, and major motion pictures are all available on YouTube, and I enjoy taking advantage of that collection.

“You Do Something to Me” is a song by Paul Weller.  That video and dozens of others are played by hitting a YouTube mix.  The leader and main song writer for “The Jam” and Tthe Style Council,” Paul Weller’s career is compiled into a brilliant mix of song writing prowess.   I’m amazed by the hours of music videos available.  I seldom listen to music any other way now.  I listen to Kung Fu funk from the 70’s & 80’s or Hits from the 70’s.  The mixes are mostly good, and you can choose just to listen to the complete album instead if that’s your taste for that day. 

Last week, YouTube gave me another present.  I found out that there was a Karaoke selection, and I picked out the songs I was going to sing at my friend’s Christmas party.  The night came, and my family and I walked into my friend, Cesar’s house for his party.  Jun, a friend of Cesar and a huge supporter of everyone singing, came up to me with the mike.  This time I was READY! I told him to pick out Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” on YouTube.  And then, I killed It!  No really, I murdered the song, but I was ready to sing every word, off key as they were.  That didn’t matter, Jun was impressed and I ate ham.

If you have a moment over the holidays, take a trip on YouTube.  There are so many fantastic places you can see!